"F*** YOU, I'M GOOD!"

I just came to the conclusion while listening to Tyler, who didn't have his dad around at all, that I don't have my father around either. I see know better than ever that those weekend trips to his house are just to ease over the fact that I'm not spending real time with him. I get over there and the only time he comes up to my room is to say good night. I do come down to his but damn, do I not matter enough to you for you to come see me during the day and make sure I'm OK? I can count on one hand the amount of times you approach me with words to say, that ain't "clean this up before you go upstairs." So yeah, I can honestly say without regret that you just loved me enough to nut in my mom to make me, but not enough to care for me. Then you gripe day in and out when I ask you for something, talking about you pay child support. Well, where the hell is my mental support, emotional support, and directional support. If I ended up as a bomb would you even care... Not all is bad though, I do like and enjoy your wife and her family, but at times its like I spend more time with her and them than I do you. You always got some kind of excuse, it either costs too much or you don't have the time. It kinda hurts to know when I become someone how proud your going to be, and that you don't have anything to do with me. My success will be mine and creditable to my mom and the works and support of her family. I'm not saying your nothing, I'm just screaming f**k you, I'm good! Cause that's how I feel every time I'm around you. I do so much better without you, you ain't the nigga that propels me to the next level, you just some nigga. The dude that told me he needed a dollar effected me more than the mess you come at me with. Maybe not, cause that dude didn't even make it here for me to write about. You made it here, so you somebody just like everybody, you did some thing, that's better than nothing. You made me and that says a lot to me, you were a man at one point, you handled yours, but you must have forgot about me and mine that you left behind. You over there playing daddy to some other chic kid and got her asking you if she can drive her car, you ain't even buy, just so you can feel in charge or some I don't know. Its a little confusing to me and my excuse used to be that I'm just a kid and that I cant handle these emotions and thoughts but now the questions is, can these thoughts handle me and what I'm gonna say to you when I make the opportunity to confront you on my revelation. I don't hate you, I just wish I didn't know you, but if I didn't that would be one less thing for me to write about and one less paragraph closer to my dream, so I'm thankful at this moment until your selfishness pisses me off again.

The End