Not Today

I don't know whats going on with me today. I just can't stop crying , I started this cycle but my emotions shouldn't be this bad I don't think and I just can't get my mind around what's wrong. i feel like i wanna die and its like my heart and everything that's inside of me want to burst into flames.
I'm so hurt and upset and lost. I just wanna die, I hate days like this and I just can't seems to shake them, I'm just overwhelmed with emotion and I don't know what to do. There's nothing to do but cry, I know thats not realistic but I just feel dead already. I just hate life, I don't like it at all. I just wish that I could exhale the life out of myself. I don't know if anyone else ever gets like this but if they ever did I'm sure they aren't here to tell me how they got through it. I'm so out, I don't know what I feel. Today is not the day.