"A New Beginning"

Right now my mind is feeling like a timer. So many dates that have not been established along with the things that need to be done. I feel kinda overwhelmed a little annoyed also. I'm not exactly sure why I feel annoyed, maybe cause things aren't going the way I planned. I feel like every second is just being washed down the drain. I really wish I had went to work this week cause my life feels so empty. i guess that has a lot to do with my disconnect from God right now. I mean, and that's not good. Sometimes you feel the need to get yourself together before going to him and I suppose that's where many of us mess up. We decide to get ourselves together instead of bring ourselves to God like we should. I've been in and out of our relationship which is why I'm feeling so empty. I have to make it up in my mind that God is so great that nothing we bring to HIm is out of His control an for awhile I've failed to acknowledge that very fact. Well, of course its something that I know just something that I have failed to do. That's why my life has been feeling so chaotic. I'm also confused on what to say when I pray like, when you've been away from someone for so long and it's been your fault knowing that they wanted to see and talk to you, you feel a little guilty for practically neglecting that other person and in my case it's God. In my mind i feel that we would no longer have anything in common, we wouldn't really be connected. I've been praying every night really but my mind seems to just wonder into left field. I'm trying and my trying  is going to become a DO! So no more mess as of now I'm cutting out all the mess. New start, starting with God.
E'london Farris